My mom told me recently that the first time she ever felt me move in her womb was during a congregational hymn at – of all places – a Bill Gothard convention. The irony of that location alone makes me…
The hardness of tenderness…
It is hard to have a tender heart, when it seems the world is out to misunderstand you, when you don’t fit anywhere, even with other believers, when people like you or don’t like you based on what you DO…
On Character, Motherhood, and God Being God – A Ramble
All my life I’ve been told that “character” is what you are when nobody’s watching, but I have come to the conclusion that character is what you are when everyone is watching. Or at least when your kids are watching.…
I Love – And Why
My Eternal King My God, I love Thee, not because I hope for heaven thereby, Nor yet because who love Thee not must die eternally. Thou, O my Jesus, Thou didst me upon the cross embrace; For me didst bear…
Effect
They call it the “Kelly effect,” my friends who want to take photos like mine. They watch me work to see what I’m doing and squeal over meeting me because they have seen my work. They don’t know the other…
Destitute
A brief preface: I’m sorting through a lot of things about God and my faith and church and grace. This post is not aimed at anyone – it is written from my journey, from this place in my journey. If…
Unplug
Today has not exactly been a good day. It has not exactly been a bad day. Or maybe it has been horrible. Or spectacular. I think that the technical word for my state today is “stir-crazy.” I feel like I’m…
Exposed
I told someone yesterday, I write my way out of the dark. I have to expose the feelings, the sentences, the lies – and everything else – to the light. I’ve never been able to keep it internalized. Even if…
Break
I remember now, the way I woke up the morning after the never. I remember how I wanted to throw up, how the tears wouldn’t stop. I remember wondering how I would ever live again. I remember the words that…
Odd Grace
It has been the oddest sort of day. It’s that “odd” that comes when my skin starts to fit again after two weeks of out-of-body living, when fears that held me down reveal themselves unrealized, when things that don’t make…